She    came    to    us    for    help

She came to us for help

I got married when I was almost 24 and I have been married going on years on the 22nd. It was very abusive. He dranked a lot and I was hit in the ribs and black and blue spots on me and thrown in the bathtub.

One night we had a big fight and I went out in mid winter in my night gown and got in the car with no shoes on. I wanted to die. I drove as fast as I could.

For the past 17 years we have not had a marriage and a lot of verbel abuse. Verbel abuse is worse then physical abuse. People just dont know and can't see what goes on.

On July 19, 96 I had a job at a fast food resterant. I was there for a bout a hour and I slip and fell on a wet floor. Broke my ankle on both sides very bad. They had to call the ambulance. I was in a cast for 3 months and thereaphy for 3 months more. He would not help me at all in the house. My son waited on me with pain meds at night and helped me in

the bathroom. My son stayed in the bedroom with me or out in the living room with me. He waited on me all the time.

Last March of last year I got very depress and went to my church to my pastor and wanted to talk . I was crying in his office. He would not talk to me with out my husband preasent. I thought he did not want to be alone with me. So I said well your wife could be there. That was not the case. He wanted my husband there with me. So I said no and he said when I am ready to let him know.

I went back home and stayed there. I did not leave the house or anything

for two months. I would not get dress. Just took a shower and changed nite gowns. I would not let my son have no one over to the house either.

I was always a clean housekeeper but two months I let things go. I lost 25 pounds. Ate nothing but yogurt and boloni.

Then in May I was setting at the computer late at night. My husband got up to use the bathroom and I got scared. I turned off the monitor and went to turn off the over head light and my bad ankle was numb and my heal went over the top of my foot. I fell in the middle of the floor and started crying. It popped. My husband came in and saw me. He started cussing me out and then left me in the floor.

Two weeks later I went to the doctor and he took exrays .He said from the origanal break it was not mended back together yet. He gave me a perscription for a ankle brace and my husband would not let me get it.

To this day I have trouble with it. It hurts . It feels like a bunch of

needles in it. It wont never be the same.

I have never cheated on him. We have lived in the house for 17 years and that is all. I dont know what it is like to be loved for me. I dont know what it is like to go out for dinner and have a good time. I

dont care about sex or things like that. I just want to be love for me and needed. I dont deserve this.

Now my husband is sick. He does not beleive in God. It scares me.
I want to see him saved. If he gets sick I want to be there for him
In the first week of Aug. I left him.

Been all over and then on Oct 17 which was my birthday I had to be
home for my son. He had something at school for the NJROTC and he
wanted me home to see it.

Then that night the phone rang and it was my cousin. She was calling
from the hospital to tell my husband that my mom came through open heart
surgery that day and was in ICU. I was not suppose to know it. So on the
18th I left and went back to Orlando where I was living.

Then on Oct. 31st he called me and told me my mom died. I went nuts and
started screaming. Got in the car and drove to SC to home. My dad would
not let me go to the funeral in Michigan, this is a nother story. But here
goes. In 1995, I went to Michigan stayed for two weeks visited my parents
had a good time I thought . We did everything together. When I got home she
called me and wanted to ask me a question. I said ok. She said what in the
___did you take my cds out of the bank and why did u take old money and my
clothes and insurance policies. I told her I didn't.

So my cousin went there and could not find them any where. One day they went
shopping and came home and all of them was in the living room in the chair.
It was my dad who did it and I took the blame. I tried over and over to talk
to her for 3 years. She would not talk.

When she died my dad would not let me go to the funeral. My sister and my
cousin got everything of my mothers.

The other day I got a box in the mail with my baby pictures in it and no more.
SO I went through this alone.

I want to see my husband save. That is my dream to see that day to see him
accept the Lord. Today he has been talking about dying and leaving and not
paying any bills. We heard every word that there is that is not nice.

I am sitting here crying as I write this. Please keep my family in prayer.
Jennifer http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Valley/3602

There are good days that we do get along and do things . I will be here
the first if something should happen.

4/24/98

My Testimony

Hello My name is Jennifer and this is my first home page and I want
to tell you about my self and how God has seen me through my life and
has never forsaken me.

I grew up in a family that there was not much love. I should of been
very happy, because I had nice clothes and even best dress during high
school, but that did not make me happy either. Everytime I did something
wrong, my mom took church away from me and would not let me go for a month.

I always knew what God was and I knew He was special in my life, but I did
not know Him as the Lord of my life. I fell in love with someone I knew all
my life and I was engaged to him to be married after high school, but
something happen one night and I was almost killed, because I was pushed
in a car, by someone I did not know and knifed and raped,and left for dead,
but God seen He was not done with me yet. After the ordeal and no help from
my parents, I found my self in Chicago, and once again I was seeking something
and did not know what it was.

I found my self at a home mission church seeking God, but I did not take the
message, but God was not done with me yet. I found my self in Los Angeles,
I seen the skid row and all the teens out there with nothing, I was one of
them. Then I got mixed up in a magazine group and began selling magazines door
to door. One day the manager came in the motel and started in on me, because I
did not sell enough. He knocked me down and I hit my back on a dresser. After that
I wound up in a county hospital with two crushed verterbrase in my back.

God was not done with me yet.

With all of this God kept his hand on me. I got married almost 26 years ago.
It has not been easy, there has been a lot of abuse and verbel abuse,
but God is not done with me yet.

One day when I was laying in the hospital I was ask if I wanted to be a
foster mother. We went through everything and I got a baby one night not
quite 5 pounds and he was 28 days old. At 3 months old, I had a dream and
it was that we would adopt him and he would be in church.

I woke up my husband and told him of my wonderful dream I had. He told me
we might adopt him, but he would never be in church at all. When John was
29 months old, DSS told us to get his clothes ready that he would be going
home the next day. The court got over at 5:00 the next day and we got a
phone call from DSS and they told us we had a choice to adopt or not
too.Praise the Lord, we adopted him the next week. He accepted the Lord in
his life when he was 8 years old. Today he is 18 and loves the Lord and he
has a special ministry in helping special need adults every Sunday afternoon.

He sings on occassions. I accepted the Lord in 1974,
but He wasn't the Lord of my life,

I still got in trouble and did my share of drinking with my husband
The Lord did not come really the Lord of my life until 1978.

Then He became very real in my life and is today. So you see God is not
done with me yet.

I know there is a ministry out there. I want to help abuse wives and be
a prayer partner. I am saying all of this, because, no matter what we go
through.

There is a God, who is never too busy.

He might not come to your rescue, when you think he should, but He is always
on time.

He is never too busy. I am so glad that He is the anchor of my life, through
the good times and the bad times. If you do not know Him today.

You can have the chance in excepting him in your life as your savior.

Then find your self a pastor, who can help you to make Him the Lord of
your life. For there is no greater joy in serving the Lord.

That is what I want is a closer walk with Him,

for there is no greater love in life. You can have that today.


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